To leave is a bit like to die
Dear diary! Tomorrow is the big day that I’ve feared. Each day, I’ve tried everything in my power to avoid leaving. I’m powerless. In my whole 15 winters long life, I’ve never cried this much. I wonder if my tears could have created a beautiful lake with water lilies floating on the dazzling water and seabirds flying around in every possible direction. Who knows?
However, I’m leaving tomorrow. Please, tell me that all of this just is a horrifying nightmare?
Leaving… I can tell you; this is not a nice word to hear. Imagine having a life with almost everything you’ve wanted, the best friends in the entire world, a hobby that you really love and almost every one of your family in the same country. Would you want to leave all of that? No, me neither.
However, there sometimes comes a time, when this decision is not yours to make. It wasn’t mine to make either.
Moving abroad temporarily, sounds fun right? In one year you experience things like never before, get new amazing friends and much more. When the year is over you travel back home, to all you had before. That is no option when you leave.
Your home and friends are not waiting for you after a year. You’re not going back. You leave one life behind you; it feels like a part of you in some way disappears, dies. Still remember, all your memories stay in your heart forever.
First you will probably feel sad, scared and even angry about this. I spent half of my summer stressing over my new school and being sad that my friends were in Finland.
It feels like you’re stuck somewhere with people you’ve never met before, dishes you’ve never tasted before and weird words that sounds like gibberish. When you say something you find people staring at you. Did I say something wrong or am I different in some way, why are they staring? You have to make a new impression on people and begin a new life, a slate sheet. However when my school started everything went better than expected. The feeling when I walked into the classroom knowing that these strangers would be my classmates for three years felt strange. Luckily it turned out, that this group of people was amazing! I’m really glad that I’ll get to know all of them better for every day. I was scared of many things first. I honestly thought that they would laugh at my pronunciation of Swedish. Actually they thought it was cool and didn’t question anything about me.
I think that when you meet new people with different nationalities you don’t look at them the way they think you do. Actually you think it’s nice if someone can tell you about funny traditions or teach you new words, instead of judging them. What is there to judge anyways? We’re all human, no matter what. Wouldn’t it be boring if everybody looked similar, talked the same way and liked the same things? I definitely think so. If you have the opportunity to talk with people you don’t know, do it. You will get new friends and learn a lot. Maybe your best friend for life is standing right there around the corner, you just don’t know it yet.
Emma Koskinen
Who is knocking at my door? Our Erasmus+ project 